Alrighty peeps, time to start a line of horoscopes. From now on I am
going to be posting some horoscope posts for everyone, thanks to being
influenced by a friend. My sincere thankyousssss. Anyways, I will be
posting them spontaneously so you will trip upon them when you least
expect it ;P. Personally, I don’t believe in these, but I always find
it enjoyable to read them for a laugh. Enjoy 🙂
Aries (march 21- April 19)
You shall have a great hot chocolate this month that will be
accidentally sipped by a Leo. Your socks that you have been missing
were pulled into a portal to an alternate dimension through the dryer.
Better spin around three times, run to the laundry room while laughing
evilly then check under the dryer. You may find one in your laptop
case. Chocolate is preferable to fruitcake. Keep this in mine when it
matters most. Your word is ‘placid’.
Taurus (April 20 – may 20)
Sadness is gnawing at your chest for a known reason. YouTube ‘Always
look on the bright side if life’ then run and face your fear with a
carrot. You shall find an unknown substance on your sandwich. Don’t
eat it. Dancing is the feel of this time; indulge in it. Make some
fudge. Your word is ‘joule’.
Gemini (May 21- June 21)
Carrot juice is murder too. Don’t forget it. Think before you speak
this month for the grammar police may have your head, as well as some
friends. Take pride in your artwork and show it off on your social
site. Better go buy a hat. A crazy one. Your word is ‘perpetual’.
Cancer ( June 22- July 22)
Your season is not this one. Snow and cold are your opposite. Sit in
font of the hearth ( or furnace/ heat vent) and watch out the window
and laugh. Homework is gnawing at your brain. Don’t worry, it’s better
than zombies. Brainstorm your zombie apocalypse plan. It could help in
the future. Don’t jump to conclusions. Your word is ‘Pomplemousse’.
Leo (July 23- august 22)
Assume the position of a grammar police. You may teach yourself some
editing skills. Time is precious. Waste it on a video game for an
hour. Quote Romeo and julliet. You may thing coffee is an iffy thing.
If you do, try it again. You may be surprised. Tell a stranger ‘Nia’.
Your word is ‘quadratic’.
Virgo (august 23- September 22)
Bake cookies. You will be eternally grateful. Computers are strength,
teach your best friend more. Looking down isn’t always bad. You might
find money. Flying apple corn chicken.Happiness will find the way in
your mazy thoughts. Read Edgar Allan Poe. Your word is ‘odomodopia’.
Libra (September 23- october 22)
Bubbles float in the air. They are mistaken, as they are molecules.
Home is where the heart is, so help it out. Olives really aren’t so
bad. Over exaggeration is not a habit in your favour. Beware the north
star. Your word is ‘meander’.
Scorpio (October 23- November 21)
Physics help can be found under your nose so don’t pick your nose
trying to figure it out. Randomness is a strength in the Bowles of
your mind. Unearth it. Memorize a question and repeat it top speed to
someone. You’ll figure out who the fast speakers are. Your word is
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Purple is your color. Embrace its thoughts. Don’t bother being
daring. Berry botts every flavoured beans aren’t worth the pain.
Toothpaste tastes yummy, enjoy it. Productivity is overrated but
sometimes worth your effort. Mentally munch mind math momentarily.
Your word is ‘amplifier’.
Capricorn (December 22- january19)
Sports aren’t what should steal your life away. Have a break, have a
kitkat. Appreciate insane people, they are the most sane. Cookies
don’t eat dishes so forget it. Ice fishing is a sport. Your word could
Aquarius (January 20-febuary 18)
Why does it matter what they say? Speak out in all thoughts! People
are waiting, don’t wait for them. Your drawing is profound.
Congratulate yourself. Make a phone call, the person will embrace it.
Avoid the walls. Your word is ‘oft’.
Pisces (Febuary 19- march 20)
Last isn’t always least. Eat some jelly beans. Turn around, touch the
ground, make a song. Go to bed at 9 o’clock you’ll be surprised. Play
cowboys and Indians in the local woods. Your word is ‘orange’. Find a
real rhyming word.